“. . . Maybe there’s an easy solution to this. Maybe Captain Fabulous has an alter ego.” “What’s an alter ego?” “It’s a superhero’s true but secret identity, you know, the way Superman is really Clark Kent.” (Paraphrased from Cuthbert Soup, Another Whole Nother Story)
A portrait of our heroine-to-be in forthcoming episodes, name of Gertie:
-A woman of substance, heart, courage, and uncertain age (since she never gives the same age twice, or is vaguely indifferent to the question) . . .
-Her manner of clothing also appears vague and indeterminate — colors are never quite clear and she appears to have on multiple layers, which makes her seem to be a doddery old lady and clearly disguises what is still a considerable degree of agility. These floating draperies also serve to hide a variety of tools of a perhaps nefarious trade; it should be noted that the umbrella she always carries is really quite remarkable with regard to its hidden capacities.
-Springy and unruly white curls are frequently disguised by an ill-fitting red wig, from which the white curls protrude in a strange, corkscrew manner. She has a penchant for long glittery beads which in and of themselves are quite functional.
-While Scottish by birth, she is Irish by temperament, which perhaps accounts for a regrettable tendency towards embellishment and exaggeration. She is more than a little fey, and Tarot cards often spill from her pockets. Her Scots’ frugality and practicality combine with a certain superstitious flamboyance to create an ever-changing gypsy-like quality, and an ability to never be pinned down. As I have said before, a master at being vague . . . her failing hearing, and the fact that she frequently removes her hearing aids when she doesn’t want to hear someone, enhances the effect.
-In general, therefore, a doddery old lady persona that is not all that meets the eye — oh, and did I mention her razor sharp intellect?
-A few more details perhaps? She has a parrot who lives on her plant-festooned front porch and curses richly. She never tells anyone where she’s from, altho’ at times she lapses into an Appalachian American southern dialect. She has a questionable past, for which there is little documentation. She has a sardonic and a bit of a twisted sense of humor calculated to mask an overly soft heart which she feels makes her fragile. She distrusts most people and all technology. Pieces of string, rubber bands, eyebrow tweezers, and chewing gum serve her well.
-And did I mention that she lives with a gent to whom she may or may not be married? — strange how I forgot that. Neville’s his name. Perhaps I will leave that for another day . . .
(And perhaps the astute reader detects a strange discrepancy between the photograph at the beginning, and the description of our dear heroine? Please! Gertie has her pride, y’know. This photograph was taken 40 years ago, and, Gertie feels, accurately depicts her essence. Or at least one of them.)