Everything will be fine . . . This, too, shall pass . . . It could be worse . . . Be grateful . . . (Me, at many many times in my life)
arruuugggghhhhh . . . (Me, at many times in my life)
Contradiction is the essence of human existence . . . (C.G.Jung)
Having had it with toxic positivity, and the idea we should focus only on changing our thoughts in a more positive direction in order to change our negative emotions, today under the Christmas tree, I decided, in the interest of the balance of which I spoke a few days ago, to indulge myself in all the negativity I could find within me. And wow, I could find a LOT.
It wasn’t all that hard not to focus on staying positive and grateful for what I do have, and not counting my blessings. That’s the part that takes work. The uneasiness, the grief, the anger, the fear were all just right there, and seemed utterly delighted to be acknowledged, to be given a voice. And I must admit the voice got pretty nasty sometimes.
But you know, the relief was incredible. Giving room for all the positive and negative emotions was enormously freeing.
Maybe we (or at least I) forgot for a time how complex our inner world can be sometimes, how we can hold such contradictory feelings or thoughts inside us at the same time . . . for instance, caring tremendously and at the same time feeling utterly indifferent; anger and a wish for revenge and an equal desire for peace; suspicion and trust; knowing we’re right beyond a shadow of a doubt, and also not having a clue . . .
When we widen our circle to include it all, when we accept the wonderfully contradictory people that we are, all of a sudden it does become simpler. I can attest that it sure becomes more freeing to live in the both-and rather than the either-or.